Saturday, September 01, 2007

Gaara: Innocence and then Hatred

[the script from the subtitle]
young Gaara: *tries to stab his hand with a knife but the sand protects him* It's no use... the sand interferes.
Yashamaru: *enters the room* Gaara-sama.
young Gaara: Yashamaru.
Yashamaru: I was ordered by Kazekage-sama to be your caretaker. I am to keep an eye on your health and protect you. Please don't do such a thing in front of me. But then again the sand will protect you.
Yashamaru: Yashamaru, I'm sorry. (pertaining to the wounds made by the sand when Y stopped the attack)

Yashamaru: Oh this? It's just a scratch.
young Gaara: Do wounds hurt?
Yashamaru: Just a little. It will heal quickly though.
young Gaara: Ne, Yashamaru...
Yashamaru: Yes?
young Gaara: What does pain feel like? I've never been hurt before so I was wondering how it felt...]

Yashamaru looks at Gaara in a somewhat confused and pitiful way.. or is it simply because he's having a hard time thinking of an explanation?
Yashamaru: How should I explain this..? It's painful and unbearable.. Like, when a person is shot or cut, he becomes very ill at ease and he can't think normally. I can't explain it well, but simply put, it's not a very good condition to be in.

Gaara tries to understand what Yashamaru tries to explain to him and feels bad for his injuries.
young Gaara: Yashamaru.
Yashamaru: Yes?
young Gaara: Then, do you hate me?

Gaara asks Yashamaru if he hated him (because of the pain/wounds inflicted by the sand attack earlier or because of his whole being?).
Yashamaru: People hurt each other and get hurt during their lifetimes but it is difficult to hate one another.
young Gaara: Thanks, Yashamaru. I think I understand what hurting is, now.

Yashamaru: Really?
young Gaara: Maybe I'm injured too, like everyone else. I always hurt here. *grabs his shirt near his heart/chest* I'm not bleeding but my chest really hurts here.

Yashamaru staring at Gaara pitifully.
Yashamaru: *takes Gaara's knife and cuts his index finger slightly*
young Gaara: *gasps as blood drips from the open wound*
Yashamaru: Flesh wounds bleed and they may seem painful but as time goes by, the pain eventually disappears. And if you use medicine, the wounds will heal even faster. But the tricky wounds are the ones in your heart. Those are difficult to heal.
young Gaara: A wound of the heart?
Yashamaru: A wound of the heart is different from a flesh wound. Unlike a flesh wound, there are no ointments to heal it, and there are times when they never heal.
young Gaara: *grabs his shirt near his heart/chest again*
Yashamaru: But there is one thing that can heal a wound of the heart. It is a troublesome medicine and you can only receive it from another person.
young Gaara: What is it? How can I heal this..?
Yashamaru: The thing that can heal a wound of the heart is... love.
young Gaara: ..Love?
Yashamaru: Yes.
young Gaara: How can I get that? What should I do to get rid of this pain..?

Gaara asking Yashamaru how to "get" love. -- so innocent (the cuteness is intoxicating me)
Yashamaru: Gaara-sama, you have already received it. Love is the spirit of devoting yourself to someone important and close to you. It is expressed by caring for and protecting that person. Just like my sister. I believe that my sister always loved you, Gaara-sama. The Shukaku of the Sand is a living soul that is usually used for combat purposes. The sand automatically protects you because of you mother's love. I believe that the will of your mother is inside the sand. My sister probably wanted to protect you, even after her death.
young Gaara: Yashamaru.
Yashamaru: Yes?
young Gaara: Thanks back there... for stopping me.
Yashamaru: *puts his wounded finger in his mouth to suck the blood* My pleasure. You are a person who is important and close to me after all, Gaara-sama.
young Gaara: *takes Yashamaru's wounded finger and puts it in his mouth*
Yashamaru: *thinks: Can you feel my pain?*
young Gaara: *thinks: It tastes like metal*

+:+:+:+:+
What's the deal with that Yashamaru guy? I mean, he looked sincerely concerned of his nephew when they were talking in the room and then he attacked Gaara! He said it was ordered to him by Kazekage but he did say that he hated Gaara with all his heart (so it was "his pleasure to do it".) WTF?! He looked solemn while saying that and other bullsh*t. (The symbolic meaning of the sand protecting Gaara because of his mother's love was a great story too. I wonder why he even said that earlier when it's a lie.) I don't get it. If he was lying to Gaara that whole time then he did a great job. He looked very loving, really. What great acting.

But.. if he didn't mean to say those things then why did he? Was he challenging Gaara to be strong so that he'll begin to hate to survive and thus live up to his name? That's pretty foolish though coz he must think that if that'll happen, then Gaara will lose compassion-- something that makes a human humane.

Aargh! Either way, no matter how I see it, no matter what his reasons were, Yashamaru is still a liar. I dislike him for saying those hurtful words. Why can't he just die without telling Gaara about the cursed name, about his mom, and about his hatred for him? (That way Gaara might still try to find love and be hopeful even if all people shun him.) And he's a hypocrite-- preaching about love while having that expression then revealed that he hated Gaara. He's his nephew! Besides, if things weren't done the way they were (using Gaara's mom as sacrifice) then all of them would've been dead! Aargh!


I've been watching Naruto from the start since there's a lot I missed years ago. (Marathon desu!) While waiting for crunchyroll to load the video, I'm doing the Gen. Psy take home quizzes (there are 6). I do sneak sometimes and watch some scenes. It was then episode 77 caught my attention.

It's about Gaara's story.

It's damn tragic, I tell you. It's about as tragic or more than Naruto's, Sasuke's, Hiei's (Yu Yu Hakusho), Kyo's (Fruits Basket), etc. The others either experienced being loved or had friends and family to support them, random people to act kindly towards them or even loyal and respectable allies. But Gaara doesn't have those.

"I'm alone."

He was hated, feared for and decieved. The name given to him meant that he'll live loving only himself (being loved only by himself) and fighting only for himself to acknowledge his existence.

The fact that he looked damn cute and innocent when he was small totally breaks my heart.


If I was in his state (and living in that dreadful country), I'd probably end up like him too or maybe even lose my mind. (He was young after all.) Nevertheless, he does have a point when he decided to live up to his name. If no one loves you then just love yourself? (It'd be cruel and unfair not to do so.) No one can love yourself more than you after all. Besides, what could he do anyway? It's not like he could commit suicide. He already tried that.

So it makes me curious: Is there a deeper symbolic meaning about the whole sand-protects-him idea? Or am I just reading too much into it?

*sigh* Anyways, I guess I have to take account of the society and environment he's in. I mean, to those I compared he's situation tom (aside from the characs in Naruto), their lifestyles are really different. (i.e. Hiei's from Makai [Demon World] and Kyo's living in the present era of Human World.) Socially, politically, and environmentally different, ne?

So why do I even bother to compare them? What do I see that they have in common?

They all experienced hate and/or being hated. Being shunned and transforming into deviants and/or outcasts deals with psychology. I simply can't resist being attracted to that concept even years before I'm taking up this course. (Partly, maybe coz I was somewhat like that too in the past.. or even up to now in some cases.) Times like these make me feel more sure of my decision into studying it. Perhaps in the future I might write something good that could also pinch people's heart, trigger their minds and shake their emotions. Yes, that would be cool. =)

I'm loving Naruto right now. The characters are great.

The worst feelings a person can experience are:
*being unloved
*feeling useless
*being unacknowledged
*loneliness

Says who? Says me.

Turn your sadness into kindness
Your uniqueness into strength
It's OK to get lost in the process, so start walking
Once again

Do you like to be praised by
Answering to people's expectations?
Do you always have a wonderful smile
Even if you must sacrifice what you really want to do?

I wake up after seeing only the beginning of my dream
But I will grasp what happens after that with my hands

Yes, the most important things
Are always the ones with no form
Even if you obtain it or lose it
You do not notice

So turn you sadness into kindness
Turn your uniqueness into strength
It's OK to get lost in the process, so start walking
Once again
~Kanashimi Wo Yasashisa Ni; Little By Little(Naruto 3rd op)

Labels: anime, list, melancholy, script, song(s), thoughts